In Annailo's mind…
He came into the store one day, out of nowhere. Sure I had seen him before; he’s one of the regulars in the railway cafè. You can’t help but smile when he’s around. His mood is infectious, and the wisdom lies in every wrinkle on his face. Of course, his mood does follow the opening-hours at the café, but a catchy line is always ready on his tongue.
This very day he was on top of the world and happy to see me.
- Dear Maj Britt, I’ve had a picture of you on my wall for years. How’s your mother?
I decided to play along. Why would I ruin his joy over finding Maj Britt, when it obviously meant a lot to the elderly man?
He was in and out all day, happy as the sun every time “Maj Britt” showed up behind the counter. Still, later during the day, I thought that honesty is the best option and that he would be offended if I pulled it too far. He took it hard, when “Maj Britt” explained that she was not the girl in the photo on his wall. With shame he left the store, but returned a few minutes later.
- So you’re really not Maj Britt?
- Sorry, no. But I do wish I was.
- Don’t be. How that smile of yours affects me, I’m glad we’re not related.
Since then, he’s been a part of the furniture at the store. Every time he’s just as shy, where he’s balancing on the tiles to avoid the lines between. A week ago came the big question, when he proposed to me. I thanked him for the offer, but politely turned him down.
- But if I ever was to get married, you would be the lucky one, I added. I saw a gleam in his tired eyes.
- I know you don’t mean that, but thanks anyway. That smile of yours lets my old heart sing again.
We have developed a special friendship, the drunk and I. Every conversation with him should be written and published. The stories are countless and always straight from the heart.
- My son says I have to take care of myself. Does it look like I’m taking good care of myself?
- No… But you’re old enough to live your own life and make your own decisions, aren’t you?
- That’s true. But you know, that smile of yours can make me believe in most anything you say.
For over a week he kept talking about that he’s the new Railway Manager. I let him talk, sometimes the amount of alcohol splits up the sentences. But last Saturday I got the explanation of where this idea was coming from, when he asked me if I remembered our former Railway Manager.
- Yes, I remember him very well, I replied, without adding the story about the young Railway Manager and myself.
- You see, he told me once that I could borrow his uniform, but he would still be accepting his own salary. And now I’m the manager here.
He wandered out of the store, whistling on his way to the café for another beer. I watched him cross the floor, and smiled to myself. His story sounded exactly like the Railway Manager I had learned to know.
Later that day he repeated the story.
- But where is the Manager and where is his uniform?, he asked.
- I’m really sorry, but the young Railway Manager has travelled up north to work there, I whispered. He had taken parts of my heart with him.
Hermann turned his eyes to the floor. He stood quite still for a while, and then pulled his feet after himself out of the store. Before he disappeared he said:
- Now I’m going home.
A couple of hours later he came back, just when I was about to leave and go home.
- Can I walk with you, Maj Britt?, he asked.
- Sure you can, it’s always nice with some company.
We were walking along the platform, and he was awfully quiet while he was trying to light a cigarette in the wind. He stopped and looked at me.
- Are you embarrassed to be seen with a drunk like me?
- Of course not, I said. – Why would I be embarrassed?
- Some people are, he said. –Few wants to be seen with me.
It had started raining, and we took a rest under the roof by a restaurant. He told me some stories about woman and the bottle. I let him talk, listened and digested. His cigarette had reached the end, and yellow fingers dropped it to the ground.
- Do you miss him, do you miss the Railway Manager?
- Unfortunately, I do, I said, and felt the emptiness that had been building up inside of me ever since he left.
The man laid his arms around me and held me tight. He smelled of beer, and I was soaking wet and heavy at mind. But there and then it felt good to be close to someone who felt the same sorrow. He ended the embrace with a kiss on each of my cheeks.
- I understand that, more than you think. But now you have to smile. That smile of yours can melt ice, and right now you’re freezing, my friend.
I smiled and hugged him again, didn’t really want to leave him there in the rain alone.
- Go now, he said. – I’ll stay here and watch you till you reach the top. And remember, if you need someone to talk to, you can come to me, okay?
- Thank you, I smiled. – And the same goes for you.
Half way up the hill I turned to look back down. I saw a shadow hiding in the alley, trying to pull his coat tighter to cover the storm.
After this, he was gone for five days. I waited and I waited, got worried later during the week. The man has, after all, a weak heart. But was I even allowed to miss him, this poor character that so hearty had taken another person’s role…?
Today he finally came.
- Maj Britt!
- Where have you been, I’ve been sick of worry for you!, I exclaimed.
- For me…? Who can miss an old drunk like me?
- I do! Are you okay?
- No… I’m getting older.
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- No… today I’m sober and sad.
I looked at this skinny guy and felt a pain in my stomach. He had been around to cheer me up so many times, and given me material for a whole book to write. And now I had no clue how to bring a smile on his lips when he so obviously needed me.
- You know… our Railway Manager, he’s doing just fine, I said.
- Have you spoken to him?, Hermann asked with anticipation in his hoarse voice.
- Yes. And he asked me to send you his greetings from winter wonderland.
Hermann turned, but I could see his neck smile.
- That smile of yours can melt just anyone, he said – before he danced over the floor to the café for his first beer.
(c) annailo.net – Do not copy in whole or in parts in any form. Thank you.
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